A Tribute to My First-Born Child

Remember before you had any children?  Seriously, remember your life.  For me, it's hard to remember much from back then. It's easy to remember some significant events, and a few important people, but it's hard to remember what an average day looked like.  You had your family and friends and they were (and still are) great, but you were only responsible for yourself.  You woke up in the morning and didn't have to think about anyone but you.  You would feed yourself, clean yourself, and entertain...yourself.  And if you didn't want to do any of those things, that was fine too. You could stay up all night long or sleep for 14 hours.  It was fine.

Remember how you felt when you found out you were pregnant?  Whether it was planned or not, I guarantee there was a solid mixture of terror and exhilaration.  Remember how long it took to sink in?  It never did really.  Not until you were driving to the hospital.  Still no?  Was it when the doctor told you the inevitable, 'it's time.."?  Or did you not fully grasp the idea of becoming a mother until you heard that first tiny cry and held your precious gift for the first time? 

We had no idea, did we?

We had no idea how our lives were really changed at that moment.  We became mothers.

Now, take 2 minutes to watch this...





For me, that's ^ kind of what it was like.  That little moment on Finding Nemo touches my heart EVERY single time.  Why?  It always reminds me of me and my baby boy; that moment that it became clear it was just going to be me and him and that everything was going to be okay.

I never knew the true capacity of love until he was born.  He was my miracle.  My miracle that barely weighed 6 lbs.  How could an entire world be bundled up in such a tiny person?  It's easy... God did that.  God knew being a mother was my purpose on this earth and that Waylon would be my greatest blessing, my most fulfilling gift.

I had my baby when I was still a baby myself.  I went straight from being a child to raising one.  I've gone through phases of battling myself in my own mind over time. One side being that I never got to have any fun and I never had that freedom like all my friends did to experience the world in all its glory.  The opposing (and forever-winning) argument being that I had been given something way beyond anything else.  A son.  It didn't take too awfully long for those longings to go away, to be young and wild and free.  My baby was the most important thing in my universe, and once I realized that, it changed my outlook on life entirely.

My best friend (who also became a single mother at a very young age) and I have discussed this for hours and hours.  She's one of the smartest people I know, and some of the stuff she's said to me over the years has really impressed me.  We've both realized things in our own time and in our own ways, but one thing sticks out to me more than anything else she's ever said.  She said that the reason her and her daughter (her first-born child) have a bond that's unlike any other is because her daughter wasn't the only one growing up.  They grew up together.  They're still growing up together. A child raising a child.  That resonated with me like nothing ever had before.  They grew up together.  Wow.....

It was just the same for me and Waylon.  He's 7 now.  He's not grown up, but he's not a baby anymore.  I was still growing up when he came along.  And he grew right alongside me.  Like my friend and her daughter, my son and I have an unshakeable bond.  And I never looked at it from that prospective before.  So I'll say, again, he is my miracle.  It was never my plan to have a child when I was a teenager.  It especially wasn't my plan to do it without my child's father.  But God provided in every way for me and my son.

Waylon was born 1 month early and only weighed 5lbs 13oz when I took him home from the hospital.  He had this tiny little mouse-like cry.  We all laughed so hard in the hospital room when he'd wince.  He was so teeny tiny I think we were all worried we were going to break him.  He grew though.  We knew he was a genius before he turned 1.  He was talking in complete sentences before he could even walk.  He developed so early intellectually.  He was reading before he was 4.  I worked really hard with him when he was a baby, but the truth of the matter is most of this was all God-given.  He's just very naturally gifted.  He's not into sports or ridiculously obsessed with music.  But he's the smartest kid I know.  He's timid and shy and he'll barely talk to anyone, but he has a huge heart.  One that is soft.  He has big plans for his future too.  He recently told me he wants to be an engineer and that he wants to build mechanical things.  I am so proud of my boy.  He is his own person.  And although he's not outspoken, I think he'll be a great leader in the future.  I have so much to be proud of.

Waylon gave me life.  He gave me a laugh I didn't have before.  A different kind of smile.  His presence gave my heart a comfort and a peace like nothing else.  So much joy.  And the motivation to go places in life.  To go places together.  He was proof to me of God's grace, God's forgiveness, and God's love.  We've gone through so much together already in just 7 years.  He's seen me laugh, seen me cry, seen me blissfully happy, and seen me devastated.  He's heard my anger, my joy, my silliness, and my unconditional love for him and his brother.  His father not being around did a number on me at times, but we had each other through all of it.  We saw each other through all of it.  Again, we've grown up together.  And we still are.  He's always been my little man.  And now he's growing into a young boy instead of a baby.  I hear him say things that I say.  Make jokes that I make.  Be sarcastic about the same things as me.  We even get excited about the same things now. MY CUP RUNNETH OVER.  I am so, so grateful for this sweet child of mine.  He helped mold me into well, me.  Even though we make mistakes, God doesn't. 

It's crazy to think about all of the things we feel like we did wrong, as people, as parents.  But how about the fact that God always worked it out?  How. Bout. That.  There's always a lesson for us, always a plan.  How amazing is that, my friends?  There's a blessing in every tragedy.  You must hold on to that.

I pray that I can be a shining example of a strong, Godly woman for both of my boys and that when they someday become fathers, they'll know they had a loving mother beside them always and that that is something they never had to question.  I hope that that memory can be a model to them of what loving a child looks like.

I just wanted to write this to tell how important Waylon is to me, and to maybe take you back to those first moments with your little one (or maybe now big one.)  REMEMBER THOSE THINGS. It seems so easy for us to forget those early years, to forget what it was like having a baby.  Do yourself a favor though and try to.  How lucky are we, really???  :) :) :)

And now, I'm gonna take a minute to enjoy these moments with my little WJ <3

Wow.  How the time flies.  He'll be 8 this year and I'll be 28.  It seems unreal.  I am definitely going to do my best to cherish every moment with my sweet boys.  We only get this once.  And it's gone in an instant.  I am so thankful for what my kids bring into my life.  And now that I've written this, and now that I've gone through so many pictures... I just can't.... stop... smiling.  :) :) :) :) :) *and wiping happy tears away* ;)

Thanks everyone for reading.  Now go love on your kiddy kats!!!

<3 Whitney

Some Fictional Characters That Have Changed My Life

Good day, my friends.

I hope you're all doing well as this week.

I've had a lot of things going on the last couple of months (haven't we all?) and most of them have been not so fun.  I have pondered a lot recently on the things that make me happy, the things that cheer me up, the things I'm passionate about, the things that really make me feel better.  My kids, my friends and family, a new pair of Nike's, being outside and away from technology, fried pickles, playing music, the Rocky Mountains, a nice glass of Scotch... wait...what? Anyway...

Anyone that really knows me knows my passion for film.  I guess it's the artist in me, but I truly love the stories brought to life on camera.  Comedy, romance, drama, action, history, documentary... you name it.  It's endearing to me.  I've been in mind of some of my most cherished movies, tv shows, books (even though I don't read much), and characters.

I've watched hundreds of movies and thousands of television series episodes.  It's amazing how good some have really been.  Just like an avid reader who idolizes a specific character from their most valued novel, I have an entire list of characters here that have really impacted my life.  It might sound silly or trivial, but I don't mind admitting that in one way or another, each of them have stoked my fire in some way. 

If you don't know them, you need to make the time to.  And here they are, in no specific order...

*YAY!*

1. Leslie Knope (Parks and Recreation)

She is an inspiration to me as a woman.  She's the perfect combination of ambition, impatience, anxiety, compassion, and fun.  She's intense and hardcore and will do anything to make her dreams come true (or to get her way, whatever.)  She's a total baby when things don't work out, and that's just fine. Her adoration for her best friend, Anne and how she puts that into words on occasion is my favorite.  She rules, and I.LOVE.HER.


2. Sid the Sloth (Ice Age)

I've always told my children that he is my favorite cartoon character of all time.  The naivety and optimism that this little sloth embodies are thought-provoking. He's the little guy.  The underdog.  And he has enough compassion for all of us combined. And surely enough, he's the one that will save us all, no matter how many doubted him.  He's a kind of funny that I haven't found anywhere else.  Just precious.

3. Katniss Everdeen (The Hunger Games)

Do I really even have to get into the specifics, here? She's an archer, a survivor, a symbol for a rebellion against government evil.  She's THE Mockingjay, and she's a genuine badass.  She's the picture of strength.  If you've only seen the movies, you MUST read the books, because they're incredible.  *mockingjay salute*


4. Emmett Brickowski (The Lego Movie)

My. Little. Sweetheart.  Chris Pratt being the voice for Emmett probably has a *little* bit to do with how much I adore this character.  He's the sweetest ever.  He comes from a life where everyone and every thing and every day are the same, but his adventure reveals that he is nothing other than extraordinary.  This movie is just so wonderful.  It makes me happy!

5. Tony Stark (Iron Man)

"Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist..."  Need I say more?

6. John Dorian (Scrubs)

I've watched so many shows the last few years, and I have to say that Scrubs is my number 1.  I was just as surprised as you.  But JD has my heart.  He's a total dweeb.  He's insecure.  He's compassionate.  The people he loves are the most important thing to him.  What I love most though are his deep thoughts and reflections about life.  I've gotten some serious belly laughs watching this show, but buried in all the humor and sarcasm (oh, the perfect picture of sarcasm) are some very insightful thoughts on life.  He has a whole other world in his mind that he goes to, and it's inspiring.

7. Ron Swanson (Parks and Recreation)

 

 

Ron Swanson, the essence of a man.  He provides a kind of comedy that I never knew before.  It is so strange and so random... but so valid and so true at the same time.  He's a hunter, a lover of meat, the alpha male, and his love for breakfast food is too relatable.  If you're a Parks and Rec fan, don't pretend you've never find yourself thinking, "wait... am I attracted to him?"  Ha :)


8. Jaxon Teller (Sons of Anarchy)

Umm, it's Jax Teller.  THE bad boy.  He's absolutely gorgeous.  Rugged, handsome, and completely devoted to his family and his brothers.  He'll make you want to discover the wild, reckless side of life.  Be careful.  There should really be a disclaimer before watching this show.  *Caution, ladies."

9. Noah Calhoun (The Notebook)

Yes, guilty.  I'm sure we all have a personal soft spot in our hearts for this man.  Can you imagine a better proposal from someone you love?  That's like... one of the best lines in history, and it's so simple.  His complete devotion to the one woman he loves his entire life is almost unheard of.  It's the kind of love we should wait for though, right?  *okay, back to 'reality'*

10. Pat Peoples (Silver Linings Playbook)

This movie hits home for me, and hits home hard.  It is so well-written.  The story is real life.  His character, in particular, intrigues me.  He's truly been through the ringer, but he's giving it everything he's got to still come out okay and have a happy life.  He's so determined and so stubborn.  I see so much of myself in this character, it's almost scary.  He's on point about life, even if it took him a while to get there.


11. Christian (Moulin Rouge!)

Right, Jamie?  The moment he belts out, "The hillllllls are aliiiiiiiiiive...with the sound of muuuusiiiiic....." it's all over.  It's done.  :)  His singing voice is angelic and love motivates everything he does.  Oh, goodness.  I'm so glad I got over myself and fell in love with this movie years ago.  I still listen to the soundtrack VERY often.  So special to me!!!


12. Harriet The Spy (from the self-titled movie)

Does anyone else even remember this movie?  I watched it all the time as a kid.  I let my 7-yr old watch it a few month ago and he loved it just as much.  I'm NOT ashamed to say that in 6th grade, I had at least one notebook with "PRIVATE" written in bold on the cover.  I wanted to BE her.  She's stellar as 12-yr olds come.  Don't remember it?  WATCH IT.

13. Chris Traeger (Parks and Recreation)

I'm in a better mood already, just from mentioning his name.  He's one of a kind, no doubt.  Not a negative bone in this man's body.  And even when he's sad, he somehow turns it into motivational speaking.  He's a true delight and his positivity and cheer are completely contagious.  You *lit'rally* can't deny him, not one bit.

14. The Genie (Aladdin)

Still my favorite Disney movie.  Still.  Robin Williams is responsible, really.  All the different mannerisms of the character, the voices, the emotions... just an all-around awesome dude.  He's a true comedian, but underneath it all... he's just a big softy.  Gotta love 'im. 

15. Adam Braverman (Parenthood)

All of us Parenthood fans know why.  He's the ideal son, the ideal father, the ideal brother, and THE ideal husband.  A genuine family man that holds everyone together.  He's a rock.  He's solid as oak.  And he'll melt your heart, every...time.

16. Christina Yang (Grey's Anatomy)

Brilliance.  I envy her independence, her confidence, and her general badassary.  She's incredible, and if she were a real person in the real world, she'd be in history books.  She's always been my favorite on the show, and it's just not the same without her.  She's truly captivating.

17. Louise Sawyer (Thelma & Louise)

Okay, so I don't plan on driving off a cliff with my bestie any time soon, but she is just bad to the bone.  She's that friend that will hurt anyone that tries to mess with you, literally.  She will stand beside you, always.  And I'm lucky enough to have a few friends that I KNOW would do the same for me.  This movie is so sad, but it's also inspiring.... annnnd liberating.

18. John Bender (The Breakfast Club)

Boy, oh boy.  The Criminal.  If I had to pick one 'quality' that draws me to this character, it's his irresistible sarcastic charm.  It's a different kind of charming, but it's my personal favorite kind.  That line up there^ says it all.  He tells it like it is.  He knows life, and he tells it well. A VERY well-written character!!

19. Gandalf (The Lord Of The Rings Trilogy; The Hobbit Trilogy)

Yeahhhhhh... he's a wizard.  So.  What else?  His seasoned wisdom.  His leadership.  His voice.  His magic.  His faith.  His loyalty.  His perseverance.  YES.

20. Cameron Tucker (Modern Family)

Oh, Cam!  He's so dramatic.  So neurotic.  He's SO full of LOVE.  He's a priss from the sticks.  Haha!  You wouldn't think it'd be a nice combo, but it's wonderful.  He's wonderful.  Annnnnd a TOTAL diva.  Modern Family ROCKS!

21. Ian Malcom (Jurassic Park)

The mystery and intellect of Dr. Ian Malcolm.  In my opinion, the best part of Jurassic Park.  It's funny because I couldn't appreciate him as a child watching this movie.  As an adult though, different story.  If you haven't paid perfect attention to him during this classic, you're really missing out.

22. Wishbone (from the self-titled PBS show)

Yes, it's true.  I watched this EVERY SINGLE DAY after school growing up.  A talking dog that tells old, American folklore?  Who would've thought?  But, YES.  Some of the stories told on this show are only known to me beCAUSE of this show.  Go to the library and CHECK IT OUT!  Your children will love you for it.

23. Dan Burns (Dan in Real Life)

I think what attracts me so much to this character is his heart.  He's been devastated.  He's lost the woman he loves.  And he's a single dad doing his best for his children.  He is a lovely example of a single parent.  It really is hard out there, all whining aside.  It's a beautiful story.  He's a great character, and it's a flawless performance (as per usual) by Steve Carell.

24. Wolverine (X-Men)

You can blame this one for my passion for all things superhero.  This is where it all started for me.  I won't claim to have been a feen for comic books my whole life, because I haven't been.  It sparked from film for me.  Even before the CGI was noteworthy.  Back in the early 2000's before it was even cool, he had me hooked.  Look at those chops!! :)

25. Dory (Finding Nemo)

Short-term....memory loss.  She speaks whale.  She just keeps swimming.  She's the best friend anyone could ask for (when she remembers to be.)  She's also one of the funniest characters animation has ever seen.  CAN'T WAIT FOR FINDING DORY!

26. Megan (Bridesmaids)

 

 

My closest friends have probably heard me say this more than once, but I had a migraine for three days after seeing Bridesmaids in the theater because I laughed so hard during it.  Tears were rolling.  Thanks, in large part, to Melissa McCarthy's version of Megan.  SHE IS DEAD SERIOUS, THE REAL DEAL.  Everyone will make fun of her, sure.  But she ends up being the smartest of them all.  The dynamic of her character is of epic proportions, in my opinion at least.  The movie itself is very dear to my heart as I believe it shows a side to women that Hollywood was scared to show prior to it.  Also, I'm a die hard fan of Melissa McCarthy AND Kristen Wiig.


27. Augustus Waters (The Fault in Our Stars)

The Fault in Our Stars is the most touching movie I've seen in my life.  I was scared to watch it, because I knew it dealt with illness (and what's worse, illness in young people) but, man... I don't regret it in the least.  He's the sweetest ever, and I know that young girls (and us not so old, too) everywhere dream of finding a man comparable to Augustus Waters.  I'll admit I haven't read the book, but I definitely plan to. 


28. Schmidt (New Girl)

He is completely insane, to put it lightly.  He's an anxious, paranoid, neat-freak of a perfectionist.  What's more insane though is how much his one-liners will have you rolling in the floor laughing.  I just want to be friends with him!

29. Doug (Up)

No shame.  All the love in the world, and no shame showing it.  It's hard not to list all three of these characters from "Up".  This movie is likely the sweetest thing you'll ever see.  I don't know why Disney insists on having such adult life lessons in their movies, but maybe it's so we can understand them all once we are parents.  Still...brutal.  Anyhow, Doug makes me laugh out loud EVERY time we watch this movie :)

30.  Chris Gardner

What an incredible story about hard work and determination and love and struggle.  This beautiful story is one everyone should see, even if just once.  I can't watch it too often.  It makes me cry too much.  But it is so touching.  Will Smith DELIVERS as this character.  Very memorable, to say the least.


Well there ya go.  I hope you'll take the time if you haven't already to check some of these out.  They're truly, very influential in their own ways.  Thanks for reading today.  I'd love to know any of your favorites as well.  Or your thoughts on mine!  Comments, comments, comments!  :)


Love you all :)