It's Going to Take Someone Extraordinary

I've been pondering this for a while now, and there is just something I have to say as a woman.

All my life I have correlated my love life with my physical appearance.  Like any other normal person, I have had terrible relationships.  I've had lonely times, and also times that I have loved being single.  Haven't most of us been through all of those?  The problem for me though is I have blamed a good portion of the bad stuff on my reflection.

Since I was a teenager I have had never-ending thoughts of worthlessness.  "If I was prettier, boys would like me."  "If I was skinnier, people would think I was as good-looking as (insert name of any high school girlfriend)."  "My love life wouldn't be such a disaster if I was hot."  "He wouldn't treat me this way if I was a total babe."  As I have gotten a little older, they sounded more like this: "Maybe if I had a smokin' body, I could get a date."  "Once he sees me in person, he won't like me."  "If my friends see me in a bathing suit, they won't want to be seen with me."  "People would be nicer to me if I wasn't overweight."  "I'm single because I'm fat."  "How could anyone ever love me?  Look at me."

Pretty brutal, eh?

Well, since I have changed my entire life this year, I want to speak to those things.  For myself, and for any other woman who might need to hear it.

See, what I have learned in the last few months is that females everywhere feel this way.  From size 00 to size 28, they have told me their insecurities.  Those are a big topic of discussion when you are on a journey to health.  When I have voiced my modesty or my struggles with what I see in the mirror, I've been told by others of all shapes and sizes that they have felt the same.  It's not just something big girls feel.  This came as a pretty big shock to me, and honestly, it's still a little hard for me to fathom. 

I couldn't help but be stunned by this new information, and it made me think about how much pressure there is for us girls to be perfect.  Anyone who has the Internet or a television, or heck, anyone who walks outside can be overwhelmed with what we are "supposed" to look like.  Society's standards are everywhere, people.  And yeah, those people are beautiful.  Of course they are.  But why are we made to feel so ugly for looking like... well, ourselves?  Why is being me not good enough?  Why is this not considered beautiful? 

GUESS WHAT.  WHO CARES.


I have worked my ass off since January 1st to become healthy again, and it has already paid off tremendously.  51 lbs in 4 months is a pretty big deal.  But still, I have been too insecure to post to Facebook because I'm not happy with how I look "yet."  I'm "not ready" for people to see me.  Why?  Will they like me less?  Will the people I never see or speak to in real life have a certain opinion of me?  And God forbid, will someone not find me to be attractive?


GUESS WHAT.  WHO CARES.

Here is what I have learned, and here is what I know:


YOU.  ARE.  EXTRAORDINARY.


You are the only you in the universe.  Why would you want to be someone else? 


So you're starting to show laugh lines?  Great.  That means you've had joy in your life.


You have rolls in your tummy when you sit down?  So do the majority of people who eat food in this country.


You're hair is too thin.   Your eyes are too far apart.  You're nose is too big.  Your thighs touch each other.  You have stretch marks.


You're a size 12.  You're a size 2.  You're a size 20. 


You have cankles.  You have freckles.  Your feet are too big.  Your butt is too small.  You have cellulite.


See?  The list could go on for days.  Weeks.  Months.   Years, I tell you!


But, you know what?  My statement remains the same...


YOU.  ARE.  EXTRAORDINARY.


Just as you are. 

We HAVE to embrace ourselves just as we are- the flaws, the imperfections, the good, the bad, and the ugly.  What you look like does not determine your worth, your honor, or your significance.  Okay?  Who you are to your core determines those things.


I've been told throughout my life things like I wear too much makeup or not enough makeup.  That I'm beautiful, "but just imagine how beautiful you'd be if you lost weight."  I've been called fat.  I've been treated differently because of how I look.  But you know what else?  I've been told I'm hilarious.  I'm smart.  I'm independent.  I'm a wonderful mother.  I can do anything.  Just as I am.  Those comments easily outweigh the bad ones, so why are the bad ones the ones that stick?  We have to change that.

I saw a video one time asking adults and children what they'd change about themselves if they could.  The adults answered immediately, some listing multiple things they'd like to be different.  The children, however, were perfectly content with themselves, even confused as to why someone would change a thing.  It was moving.


Let's embrace that kind of mindset, because being beautiful to society will go no further than that- being beautiful to society.  Having a beautiful soul, a generous heart, an intelligent mind, being a dear friend, loving to your family, working hard to be successful... those are beautiful.  What you look like in all of those things... that is what makes people love you.  Not the size of your waist or the perfection of your skin.  So stop questioning yourself.  Be bold.  Be you, and don't let anyone stop you.

So how has this new outlook on life changed my way of thinking in the romantic world?  I am no longer seeking instant gratification.  I am no longer seeking someone who places their value on my physical appearance.  I will hold out.  Hold out for someone who embraces all of who I am.  Someone who values my intelligence, my opinions.  Someone who is encouraging of my vulnerability.  Someone who supports what I do in my life.  Someone who will allow me to just...be...me.  I shouldn't have to be anyone else.  And neither should you.  Be with someone who you can be best friends with.  Not just a person to look pretty in pictures with.    Honestly, I'll hold out for someone who makes me laugh until I get a migraine.  Someone who thinks I'm just as cool at home in my sweatpants playing video games as I am dressed up playing music.  Someone who will go camping with me for 4 days and not care about the toll the trip has taken on my appearance.   Someone who will eat Taco Bell with me at 1am.  Someone who will hold my hand when I'm sad.  And back me down when I'm angry.  And cheer me on in my achievements.  Someone I can say anything to. And most of all, someone who will be a good dad.  So when I say it's going to take someone extraordinary, that's what I mean.  Be extraordinary.  And wait for someone that is.  That's the man that I'm holding out for, ya'll.

Are you rolling your eyes yet?  GUESS WHAT.  WHO CARES.  Isn't that what we should all hold out for?  A real partner?  Because I am.  Yep... I'm a big sappy love puppy.  I'm not pretending I'm not, and I'm not altering things about myself to make someone else like me anymore.  It's who I am.  And someone will be beyond happy with all of that one day.  BELIEVE IT.


BELIEVE IN YOU.  The REAL you.  You can do ANYTHING.  You are POWERFUL.  Be the best you.  And hold out for nothing but the best.  In love, in friendships, in life. 

SO.  Guess I'll let you see now.  Thanks for reading.  Thanks for letting me be me.  Mwah!

I love you for getting to the end of this.  Thank you from the bottom of my ginormous heart.


-Whitney

2015 Was Not My Favorite

In light of all the talk of resolutions for the upcoming new year, I just had to reflect for a bit on 2015.  It was not my favorite.  And the feeling was probably mutual.

 

It started off with a death in my family.  A year ago today we were just starting to accept the fact that my Uncle Chuck had been given days to live after a 7-year battle with cancer.  So that's how we rang in the new year last year- with cancer.  It's strange when I look back on things from that time, especially the weather and how it seemed to match the situation so perfectly.  It was a bitter, grey cold that we hadn't felt in several years.  Much colder than the typical Missouri winter.  It seemed as each day passed, my uncle grew weaker, the sky grew darker, and the wind became more harsh.  After all of that though, on the day we said goodbye to him, it was the bluest sky you'd ever seen.  An unseasonably warm and sunshiny day.  The family really came together though.  He got to be surrounded by all of us, and we all got to be together in those last weeks, weeks I'm sure we will all cherish forever.  That's how the year began though, losing Chuck.  I lost an uncle, but what's more is my cousin lost his father, my dad lost his only sibling, my brother lost his hero, and my grandmother lost her baby boy.  That's the only time in my entire life I've ever seen my grandmother cry.  You all probably know her as Meem.  That was honestly the hardest part.  Even when you're 80, I think that losing a child still brings the same kind of pain.

I know this seems depressing so far, but I'm just speaking to the many reasons I am looking forward to 2016.  It might be cliché to start new things on the first day of a new year, but I don't care.  I'm doing it.

 

You see, along with that loss in our family at the beginning of this year, I feel like a lot of the remainder was spent failing myself and allowing myself to believe I am not good enough.  I think we all probably have those feelings when we get to thinking really hard.  The things we could have done so much better and the opportunities we wasted or missed.  Sometimes, I let those things get the best of me.  I definitely did in 2015. 

I could write for hours about things I experienced, people I lost and gained, lessons I learned.  But mainly, I want to dedicate 2016 to forgiving myself, letting go of all that's happened to me, and to finally allowing myself to become my best self.

It feels like I've been in a depressive trap for about seven years now, chained down by all my mistakes and poor decisions.  I have spent an unspeakable amount of my time (and my children's time) looking back on how I could have done things differently and how life could have been so much "better" for us.  It seems that each year I'm harder on myself, gaining more weight and losing more love and respect for myself.  It is sick the things I say to myself in my mind.

I am not quite sure how it just clicks all of a sudden and you finally see how wrong you have been about yourself and your life, but that is what has happened.  Maybe God has a special place for us extra stubborn ones.  That's what it feels like.  I have felt so unworthy of love for so many years, it has been a heck of a time to let God in and to show me that the opposite is true.  I am finally starting to breathe.  To let go and enjoy my life with my two beautiful and perfect children.

So, goodbye to self-hatred, and hello to self-love.
Goodbye to anger, and hello to patience.
Goodbye to unhealthy, toxic (and delicious haha) food, and hello to nourishment.
Goodbye to lazy downtime on the couch and hello to daily workouts.
Goodbye to desperation, and hello to contentment.
Goodbye to self-deprecation, and hello to affirmation through Christ.
Goodbye to self-consciousness, and hello to confidence.
Goodbye to men that treat me like I am nothing, and hello TO MYSELF.
Goodbye to heartbrokenness, and hello to joy.
Goodbye to fair-weather friends, and hello to my tiny circle.
Goodbye to yelling, and hello to gentleness.
Goodbye to meals in front of the television, and hello to family meals at the table.
Goodbye to giving up, and hello to pushing through the pain.
Goodbye to weight gain, and hello to health.
Goodbye to selfishness, and hello to generosity.
Goodbye to chaos, and hello to stability.
Goodbye to my precious resting B face, and hello to my smile.
Goodbye to tragedy, and hello to triumph.
Goodbye to my past, and hello to my future.

So there is my ode to 2015/2016.  I think it's a safe bet to believe in this next year and all that it will bring for me and Waylon and Weston.  With a tear in my eye, I imagine all that God has planned for us, and it starts with leaving 2015 and all its sadness behind.  So whoever you are, reading this, thank you for your role in my life, even if you've caused damage, I have taken something from that.  To Shawna, Brandi, and my momma, I'd never make it through without you.  Thank you for loving me just the way I am.  When I think of what the true picture of love looks like, I see three doors.  (Haha this is gonna get REALLY real for a second.)

On door #1 there is a picture of Brandi's face.  (OMG, crocodile tears right now) and behind that door is wisdom and reason.  My true Anam Cara, my soul's counterpart.  I love you.  I can't even SPEAK to how you have impacted my life and the boys' as well.  You are my calm, my comfort, my peace.

On door #2 is that Shawna girl.  We have been through so much together, and this year was no exception to that.  It was probably the biggest contributor to it actually :).  You and I have something no one else can touch.  Your heart cannot be tamed, and that is my favorite thing about you.  You are always there.  Every single day.  No matter how crazy I am.  You are crazy.  I am crazy.  But we are crazy together, and that is more important than I can even say.  You just get me.  In a way no one else does.  When I open this door, there's a wild storm, but one of those rare beautiful ones.

And door #3, my mommy.  Oh dear.  How can you write about your mother?  Just thank you, Mom for being my absolute solid foundation.  It cannot be easy having me as a daughter, but you make it look that way.  I promise, this year you will have so much to smile about.  I LOVE YOU.

So, there it is.  Apparently I needed to get some of this stuff off the ole' chest.  Thank you all for reading this, your continuous love and support throughout this next year will NOT go unnoticed. 

Much (oh, so much) love.

Oh, and you might want to prepare yourselves for all my posts on here and IG :)

-Whitney

15 Albums You HAVE TO Listen To NOW

Are you one of those people that go totally blank when someone asks you your favorite song?  Your favorite band?  Your favorite movie?  I am.  Maybe it's not that I go blank, but rather that hundreds, maybe even thousands of potential answers come to mind.  So, I always stick with the old standby- that I could never pick a favorite, not ever.  Even if I had to make a list of favorites *plural* it'd be way too long for anyone to get through and still be interested by the end. 

So, I was listening to a couple favorite albums of mine recently that have been on the shelf for a while now.  Seeing as to how they are just as glorious as they ever were, I jot them down.  For a couple weeks now I started adding to the list, completely randomly.  This list is very short (by my standards at least) but these are just some that I REALLY want people to have the privilege of hearing.  Music has been my largest passion since I started playing piano when I was 3 years old, so consider my credibility when deciding to give these a listen or not.  I've been sharing my music with friends for as long as I can remember, having them listen either willingly or not. 

That feeling you get when you discover something great and you just want to share it with the entire universe in hopes that it will benefit others as it has yourself?  That's one of these things...

None of these are brand new.  Some are new-ish.  Some I've been listening to for years.  No specific genre or era.  Annnnnd go:

1) Band of Horses- Acoustic at The Ryman

My super ultra mega awesome big brother just sent this album to me a couple months ago.  I've been listening to them for years, but didn't know this even existed.  I listed it first because it's the one I didn't even have to think about.  They are very unique in their sound.  I'd say it's pretty folky.  But PHENOMENAL harmonies, song-writing, and the recording at the Ryman is just out of this world.  This is the first album I've turned on to fall asleep to since I was in middle school.  Truly wonderful.

2) OneRepublic- Native

They've came a long way since their first hit, 'Apologize', came out in 2005.  This specific album is just so feel-good and uplifting.  I am lucky enough to have found it when I was needing to pick myself up again after some hard things in life, and wow.  Make sure you get the version of this album that has "Love Runs Out" on it, because that's the most exciting song on there, and it just completes the whole experience.  The music will draw you in just as easily as the album cover.  :)


3) Beck- Morning Phase

Obvious choice here.  It just won a Grammy for Album of the Year.  About 6 months ago, I heard 'Morning' on one of my Spotify playlists and fell in love instantly.  However, I didn't hear the whole album until about a month ago.  The thing about Beck is, he can record literally ANY kind of music, any kind of song, ANY KIND OF RECORD that he wants to.  He is so insanely versatile.  One of the most talented musicians I've ever known about.  This isn't his only album that is fantastic.  He really isn't a loser, baby.


4) Lorde- Pure Heroine

Surprised?  Me too.  Most of you know that I'm really not into Top 40 stuff and haven't been for a long time.  This album right here though?  It's wonderful.  It gets my blood pumping like no other.  From beginning to end.  It is a great time.  I listen to this while I'm working out and I am usually imagining myself kicking some serious booty.  Amazing beats, unique lyrics, and mind you... she was only 16 when she recorded this.  This truly impresses.  You'll be pleasantly surprised if you're into it.


5) Kings of Leon- Come Around Sundown

Ahhh.  What a relief this album is.  And although I wanted to list 'Only By The Night' right along with it, I feel like this one needs to be shared more, as there's been a lot less hype about it.  It's a little different than that first hit album of theirs, but it's just as good.  Their sound is so much their own, I don't even know how to describe it.  But a GREAT album to listen to on the road.  Truly, so enjoyable.


6) Coldplay- Rush of Blood to the Head

Okay, here comes some honesty.  If I had to, HAD TO, pick one album... like really, seriously?  It'd be this one.  This or it'd be tied with Dark Side of The Moon.  This album right here, folks?  It is an absolute masterpiece.  You might think to yourself, "oh yeah, Coldplay, ugh meh lame..." but no.  If you only know their more recent works, you don't even know.  This record is epic.  It's beautiful.  Every single song.  And they all fit together so well.  It's a work of art that I have been going back to for over a decade now.  If you listen to one album on this list, MAKE IT THIS ONE.


7) The 1975- The 1975

Just discovered this band a couple of months ago.  They're essentially rock, but have some killer beats and instrumentation in their music that caught my ear instantly.  There are a couple/few songs that aren't AS good as others, but still a great listen for ya.


8) City and Colour-  The Hurry and The Harm

Are you a fan?  If not, you should be.  The majority of their songs on all their albums are really good.  This is their latest record and it kills, as usual.  Dallas has a voice that no one else can touch.  Their song-writing is so intense and mixed with his gorgeous range, it's just moving.  Awesome band.


9) Kodaline- In a Perfect World

Another group I haven't known for long.  I'd say this album is all about love.  It's kind of got that indie/folk vibe, but it's not like all the others around these days.  The lyrics are my favorite with this one.  Just lovely.


10) Lord Huron-  Strange Trails (Deluxe Edition)

The first time I heard this guy was in the movie theater on a kid's movie me and my kids were seeing.  I remember getting my phone out just for Shazam.  My result: 'Lord Huron- Ends of The Earth'.  I honestly don't know what this genre of music even is, but it's extremely enchanting.  If I ever get to travel this earth, this will be on the top of my playlist.  Please check it out!


11) Old Crow Medicine Show-  Tennessee Pusher

A good ole faithful right here, eh?   This one's been around for awhile, but I wanted to remind everyone about it.  Darius Rucker didn't ruin this band's brand, I hope.  This is true country, in my opinion.  Not that flashy, country pop junk on the radio nowadays.  So if legit country is what you're looking for, here you have it.


12) M83- Hurry Up, We're Dreaming

Uuugghhh....  M83.  This record is just one that I want to just throw my head back and say, "oh ma gosh I looooooooooooove it."  They're really electric and have a lot more instruments and digital things happening in their music, but it's glorious.  If this list was in order, it'd be a lot closer to the top.  This album is one of a kind.  Check it out.  You'll likely find yourself taken back by how much you like this.  You probably didn't even know this kind of music would strike you.


13) Matthew Mayfield-  A Banquet For Ghosts

I almost took this off of the list just because it is so deep and so emotional.  I discovered Matthew Mayfield in 2012 when he opened up for a Needtobreathe concert I went to for my birthday.  I remember becoming paralyzed with tears listening to him perform with nothing other than his guitar.  He writes all of his own music, has a very low, very distinct voice.  Very raspy and rough, yet gentle and perfect with his lyrics.  He's very acoustic, singer-songwriter ish, but I've never heard another artist like him.  Some covers of more popular songs that he's put together are amazing as well!  This specific album deals with lost love without a doubt, but it's darkly blissful.

14) The Steeldrivers- Wreckless

ANYTHING CHRIS STAPLETON TOUCHES TURNS TO GOLD.  I doubt many of you even know the name.  He's the lead singer of The Steeldrivers and that's not even his biggest gig.  He's written award-winning country songs and has now, finally, set out on his own solo career.  He probably has my favorite voice of all time.  If you watch him on YouTube, make sure it's the out of the studio stuff.  Something record labels do to country songs these days is just sickening.  He's incredible.  A truly gifted writer and musician.  As far as an actual record, this is probably my favorite of theirs.  It's got some serious grit to it!

15) Florence + The Machine- Ceremonials

 

 

Is she an angel with that voice?  Okay, maybe not, but whoa.  Where did she even come from?  If I could produce any kind of music myself, it'd probably be very similar to hers.  She incorporates giant gospel choirs and huge symphonies just to accompany her and somehow has still made a huge name for herself in the age of cheapened, auto-tuned music that has no real substance.  THIS album is a reflection of just that.  It impresses me more every time I listen to it.  I love the artist she has formed herself to be.  Just amazing.

 

 

So yeah, that was a little longer than I anticipated.  But even if you didn't read the description of each, I hope you at least took note of these records and will take the time to listen to them.  TRUST ME, YOU WILL BE SO HAPPY YOU DID.  I hope you're touched in some way by one or some or all of these!

 

Thanks for reading!  Love you all.

-Whitney

 

 



Our Little Trip To KC

The boys and I seem to have fun no matter what we're doing, but in honor of Spring Break AND being locked inside all winter, we just wanted a little getaway.

I haven't been to Kansas City since I went to a Chiefs game since I was really young, so I'm pretty unfamiliar.  The main reason I chose to go there was because that's where LEGOLAND is.  That and it's only a little over 2 hours away.  So I worked half a day on Friday and we took off.  Something about a road trip is always so exciting.  Even if it's just for a couple days.

ANYWAY-

I just wanted to recommend three places in KC, Mo for any of you with little ones.

1) Our Hotel



2 kings in a King.

Nice furniture to hang out and eat and such.

   

Made themselves at home :)

Waylon approved.

Censored as he was nakey.



Nice pool inside and a big hot tub to go alone with it :)

 

I can't say enough good things about our hotel.  Pictures don't do it much justice, but it was SO nice.  The staff there was wonderful.  One girl working the front desk made arrangements for us to be picked up Saturday morning and taken to downtown KC and offered her service for many things.  Although we didn't take them up on any of it, they were SO polite and friendly and eager to help us out.  It was a truly lovely experience, and was only $70/night.  Truly great!  If you travel there, I highly recommend this one, as it's about 15 minutes outside of the city.  We loved it!

Click here if you're interested :)







2) LEGOLAND Discovery Center

Boys with the jester after the medieval game.

Waylon was THRILLED about this :)

Arial view of Arrowhead Stadium.... in MiniLand!!

Outdoor concert in MiniLand.



Munchkin Land!!! (yes, still ALL LEGOS)



My absolute favorite part of LEGOLAND, Emerald City.

Lego Dorothy and Toto



Pits of legos everywhere!

Weston on a Lego motorcycle.

Merlin, of course.

Great day!

 Again, the pictures really do it no justice.  The boys thought it was just miraculous that a place like this even existed.  It only took a couple hours to get through the whole thing, but they enjoyed it so much.  Very cool and I'm glad I got to take them there!

Here are a few more photos from walking around Crowne Center (where LEGOLAND is located) earlier that morning waiting for everything to open.

 

 

 

 

3) T-Rex Café

 

This place- WOW!  This was my favorite part of the trip.  I'm kind of a nerdy dinosaur feen.  Jurassic Park came out when I was 7 years old, and they've had my heart since.  So this was just as fun for me as it was for the kids!  I could've stayed there all day.  It's a two-story restaurant and we sat upstairs.  The pictures above are all taken from where we were sitting.  Our area was like the set of Ice Age.  The ceiling and walls looked like ice caps and there was light blue lighting.  It was just awesome.  It's worth the wait and worth the drive.  It's located in a place called 'Legends' which is very similar to Branson Landing, right across from Kansas Speedway.  It was truly a delight.  And to make it even better, some close friends of ours happened to be in town also, so we got to enjoy this place together :) You must go there with your kiddies!!!!!

Here's more about T-Rex Cafe!


We really enjoyed our little getaway this weekend, and I just wanted to share (mostly all of the pictures) with you all so you could see how much fun we had!!!  Here's a few more randoms from our trip. 

Thanks for reading!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Great mini-vacation for The Wright Family :)